The Colours of Sunset
by kiminicricket
Summary: Katniss discovers that she is pregnant, and then a series of non-chronological one shots featuring fluffy Everlark :)
1. Chapter 1

I sat hunched over myself in the closet, my arms wrapped around my knees, my forehead resting on my arms while I repeated what I know to be true.

_My name is Katniss Meelark. I am 27 years old. I live in District 12. I was in the hunger games. Twice. I escaped. Twice. I assassinated President Coin. President Snow is Dead. Peeta and I got married. My sister is dead. My mother lives in district 4. I am pregnant._

It's the last one that sets me off - Terror freezes my veins and I sit in a terrified stupor, unintelligible muttering streaming from my mouth.

It has been a long time since my last episode, possibly more than a year, but now when they come, they come long and hard. I try my little game again, but cannot get past two points.

_My name is Katniss Meelark. I am pregnant._

_Pregnant._

The last thing I ever wanted to do in this life was bring a child into the world. This world full of starving countrymen, and a sadistic president who would force children to fight to the death for the entertainment of the elite.

I don't know how long I sat there in the closet before light came streaming through. I squinted up at the figure in the doorway.

"Katniss?" Concern etched his features and coloured his voice, and without another thought I reached for him. My sunshine when the world is dark, my rainbow in the storm. My dandelion in a patch of weeds. He hunkers down and crawls into the closet with me.

Its very crowded with two people, but finally, with his strong arms around me and my head pressed against his chest where I can hear the beating of his heart, some reason returns to me. I let out a sigh and relax for the first time since I discovered I was pregnant.

After all, this was the man who had overcome hi-jacking of the most personal kind and, despite my not deserving a speck of it, came to love me again. This was the man who lived his life to protect me, who would do anything for me, who despite his own tortured past, still sees the positives in the world, the beauty, the colour, the goodness. I know that without him I probably would have wound up drunk and alone, like Haymitch.

I shift a bit so I can lean up and kiss him. That he is still concerned for me is evident, but after seven years of marriage, he knows when to press and when to let me be, so he just holds me securely against him, kissing me back, running his hands through my hair and setting my blood on fire.

Not that we can get too carried away in this tiny space, so before things get too heated I pull back and again lean my head against his chest, listening to his heart.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, him tracing patterns on my back, and me tracing the lines on the palm of his other hand before he mentions moving.

"I think my leg is falling asleep," he comments.

In response I shuffle out of the cupboard, then lean in to help him up. Once we are both standing, I move right back into the safety of his arms. I can't cope with the world right now; I just need him surrounding me, supporting me like he always does.

I know he thinks that this is related to a flashback or a nightmare or something, and I try to will myself to say the words, to let him know. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I bury my face in his chest and he runs his fingers through my hair.

It is there, with my eyes squeezed shut and my mouth up against his chest where the words are so garbled they are unintelligible that I first say it out loud.

"I'm pregnant,"

Of course he can't understand me. I could hardly understand myself, but just saying the words has set a tremor to my bones. My hands begin to shake, and my heart is pounding so heavily I can feel my pulse in my little toe.

Peeta draws back slightly so he can look me in the eye.

"What is it Katniss?" he asks.

I sigh and look away. He is always so patient with me. I know that I will never deserve him. I take a deep breath and brace myself to tell him the truth.

I don't realize I'm crying until he reaches out to wipe a tear away from my cheek.

I look up at him. I know he wants this. We have had many conversations about it. It's the only thing we argue about, whether or not to bring children into the world.

Peeta is all for it, arguing that with the Games gone, and Paylor as president the world was as safe as it ever was.

I just could not imagine bringing a child into a world where there was even a possibility they could get selected to participate in something so depraved as the Hunger Games, and even though they were over, how could we be sure that years from now, someone wouldn't imagine up another use for them? How could I keep my children safe in such a world? I would be powerless, like my mother was powerless against the reaping.

Nevertheless at this particular moment, I clung to Peeta's belief with everything I had inside of me. Without it I would go mad. It was too late for anything else, I had to believe it. And with Peeta holding me, I almost could.

I swallowed and took a deep breath, looking up into his blue eyes that still sometimes clouded over with confusion, still sometimes stared into space for hours getting lost in a memory or a flashback.

I reached up and cupped his face, and with tears in my eyes, told him.

"I'm Pregnant,"

Joy lit his eyes at my words, then disbelief as he searched my face for traces of jest. Finally understanding. He always understood me. He knew why I was so tortured about this.

He squeezed me tight against him, and I clung to his strength and steadiness.

"It will be ok!" he assured me, "the games are gone and they aren't coming back!"

I nodded into his chest.

"I'm going to need you to keep telling me that," I whispered.

Peeta stepped back and cupped my face. The joy was back in his expression, and I could tell he was barely containing it.

"Always," he said.

This was his promise to me - to stay with me, to protect me, to encourage me and to lift me up – always. A smile crept up onto my face. Seeing it, Peeta let go of whatever was holding his joy in check and lifted me in his arms, spinning me around.

"We're going to have a baby!" he cried out.

I couldn't help but laugh at his antics, his joy. And wrapped in his joyful embrace, I felt a stirring of happiness myself. For the first time I let myself believe that everything was going to be ok.

I reached up on tip toe to kiss him again, and as he enthusiastically reciprocated, the beautiful orange colours of sunset once again lit our little world.

* * *

KC

thanks for reading!

if you feel like it, come follow me on twitter.. /Kiminiminimini


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hey readers, soooo I know this is not in chronological order.. sorry.. I think this story will be more a collection of one shots than an actual story.. I hope you like it anyway :) it ****sort of came to me as I was re-watching Catching Fire, and so, of course, I had to write it.. let me know what you think :)**

**p.s. a million thanks to the two of you who reviewed my first chapter! Mockingjay2 and guest, if you are back, I hope you enjoy this one too :)**

* * *

I wake with a gasp, panic freezing my muscles and straining my breathing. Blindly I reach for the spot beside me, the spot where she always sleeps. I am immediately comforted by her warmth and I quickly wrap my arms around her, assuring my heart once again that she is here, real, with me.

She is not torn to pieces by some capitol mutt, she is not strangled to death by my own hand. She is alive, breathing, and sleeping right next to me.

In her sleep she wraps herself closer to my body and mumbles something that I cant distinguish. She moans in her sleep, and I draw her tighter against me. It's not the worst of the nightmares, the ones where she would thrash and kick and scream until she awoke, dripping with sweat, but it definitely wasn't a good dream either.

Its almost dawn, and seeing no reason to go back to sleep and revisit my nightmares, I lay, staring at the ceiling, and absently tracing patterns on her back, which seems to soothe whatever nightmare is going on in her head, because she stills, and the moans stop.

We are always together now. Nothing separates us. It has been a long journey, growing back together, but we made it. I can't stand to be away from her, and distance from me makes her physically ill with anxiety. It's probably not the healthiest way to live, but I suppose it beats a dependence on liquor or morphling.

I hear her breathing change as she slowly rouses herself from sleep.

She pushes herself up on one elbow and squints up at me through sleep bleared eyes.

"Morning," she croaks out. I smile, even with bed hair and dried drool on her cheek she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

"Good morning," I gently squeeze the arm that is around her, and she cuddles up to me for a moment before pushing up to look at me again.

Something is on her mind. I can tell. She's doing that thing where she looks at me and bites her lip. It drives me wild, so I lean in and kiss her.

She responds enthusiastically, but I can tell she is distracted, so I drop my head back to the pillow with a sigh. She leans up over me and looks down at me, one arm resting on my chest, her fingers absently playing with my chest hair.

"Peeta, will you stay with me?" she asks quietly.

I look up at her quizzically. My mind races back to the first time she asked me that, on the tribute train while we were doing the victory tour. I think about the nights we spent comforting each other from the night terrors, the safety we felt in each other's arms.

My answer to her is the same it was that night.

"Always," I whisper, reaching up to trace her cheekbone with my fingertips. She closes her eyes at my touch.

"Always always?"

I frown. Where was this coming from? Surely she knew I would never leave her! I was about to voice just that when she opened her eyes and with her gaze pinned me down.

"Peeta, will you marry me?"

That gets me moving. I sit bolt upright, and she sits up too. I stare at her dumbly for a minute, looking unbelievably beautiful with her hair falling all around her face and the sheets wrapped around her body.

"Wha- you- I-" I sputter, getting out of the bed and pacing a few steps before turning back to her.

"Katniss, that's not fair! I'm supposed to ask you that question!" I finally manage to get out.

"Well where you ever going to get to it?" she challenged, fire and humor in her eyes.

"Yes!"

Of course I was going to ask her to be my wife, I had only been planning on it since we were in grade school! I just didn't want to rush her after everything we had been through.

Admittedly, it has been 7 years since the war. Maybe I had been dragging my feet a bit too long.

"Yes, you will, or yes you were?" she asks cheekily.

I stare at her for a moment. The capitol knew her as the girl on fire. The rebels knew her as the mockingjay. But I know her as Katniss. The girl who loves so deeply that she sacrifices herself to do it. The girl who saved my life not once, not twice, but more times than I can even count. The girl who has been shot down more times than I can count, but still finds a reason to get up in the mornings. This is the girl who wants to marry me. And not just for a Capitol gimmick, there are no more cameras. The love I read in her eyes is real, as real as my own.

She regards me with her clear grey eyes, patiently awaiting my answer.

I slowly walk towards her, saying the only thing I can possibly say.

"Yes."

Before pinning her to the bed and claiming her lips with my own.

The way we danced, I think she got the message that I meant both.

* * *

**KC**

**eh probably not my best work.. but also not my worst.. be my best friend and leave me a review? Love you! xox**


	3. Chapter 3

I woke with a gasp, covered in sweat. I choked out a sob and the tears streamed down my face.

_Not real, not real, not real_. I repeated to myself, trying to slow my erratic heartbeat.

Except that it was. Real. I mean, not happening right this moment, but it definitely happened.

I broke down and let myself sob for a few minutes, but the tears ran dry sooner than I expected.

They said this would happen. They said to just give it time. I didn't believe them, because every time I thought of her my heart felt like it was broken into a million pieces, but evidence supporting them was in my short breakdown this night. While my heart still felt shattered, the tears were running out. The thought both relieved and depressed me.

Not that I could go back to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes the image of her on fire burned through my conscience.

I peeled back the covers and walked out to the kitchen to get a glass of milk.

I was walking back towards my room when I heard it. Shrieking. Coming from the guest bedroom, the one where Peeta was staying tonight.

Things had been strained between us since the return from the capitol. I think we both yearned for the way things were, but we were both so different, we had no idea how to get there.

Peeta usually stayed in his own house, but we had shared a meal last night and I told him to just crash in the guest bedroom. I felt more comfortable when he was close.

The shrieking came again, and I made my way to the doorway of the guestroom, watching the boy I had come to care for so deeply thrash in his sleep, fighting unseen terrors and demons. I watched as he bolted upright, screaming before opening his eyes and scanning the room.

His eyes locked on mine, standing in the doorway. We regarded each other seriously for a few moments, taking in each other's red-rimmed eyes, his shortness of breath, and the dusky bags under my eyes.

Finally I dropped my eyes to stare at the ground.

"Sorry, I heard you screaming," I said, turning to return to my room.

"Katniss," he called, stopping me.

I turned to face him and I saw the ghost of a smile cross his face. If I had blinked I would have missed it.

"Stay with me?" he asked, and a ghost of a smile crossed my face also.

I hurried over to the bed and crawled in beside him, and he wrapped his arms around me as I snuggled into him. I closed my eyes and sighed. For the first time, I felt like some of my heart might have escaped annihilation.

"Always," I whispered. He squeezed me tight against him in response.

* * *

I opened my eyes to the bright light of midmorning. There was a warmth at my side. A glance down told my I hadn't been dreaming, that Katniss really did come to me in the night. She was currently curled into my side, one arm circling my waist. My arm is wrapped securely around her, holding her against me. The first glimmer of happiness that I have felt since the capitol sparks in my heart, and blooms when she opens her eyes and squints up at me.

"Good morning," my voice is low and gravelly – probably due to the screaming last night.

"Good morning," she replies, leaning up on one elbow.

No further words are passed between us as we simply enjoy the nearness of each other.

Eventually though, Katniss stretches and mentions breakfast.

Well now that she's gone and mentioned food, my stomach is grumbling.

Thanks to Greasy Sae, Katniss has a full pantry, and we are sitting at the breakfast table in a matter of minutes.

"Peeta," Katniss begins, once we have almost finished our meal, "your nightmares are different now aren't they?"

I nod, my throat tightening up remembering the one from last night. Needles, electric shocks, the agonized, wordless screams of an avox, and worst of all, reaching out to kill Katniss again and again. I shuddered. She reached out and grabbed my hand.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, but you never used to thrash like you were last night." She mentioned.

I nodded, my gaze on the ground.

"Every night, I dream of the capitol." I say, "I struggle to escape, but I never can." Tears have built up in my eyes, and I can see them in hers as well.

"I can do nothing to escape what they did to me, I can do nothing when I reach out and kill you again and again,"

My voice breaks on this admission, and Katniss is around the table, her arms around me, comforting me.

"I'm sorry, you don't have to speak of it," she says.

But I somehow feel better having spoken of it, like I have taken control of it and clarified it as just a dream. A terrible dream of a horrifying time in my past to be sure, but nothing more than that.

"It's ok," I say, my voice again strong and sure, "it was better when you were there though, I didn't have another nightmare after that."

She smiled a small smile. "Me either."

I reach out and grab her hand.

"Stay with me again tonight?"

She nods, blushing and looking at the ground, and I think she is not going to say anything, but then she looks up at me and whispers.

"Always."

* * *

KC

please review :)


	4. Chapter 4

"Aahh!" I cried out as an intense pain ripped across my lower abdomen, waking me up. I groped around for Peeta's hand and held on tight as the pain worked its way through. The force of it left me panting, and Peeta turned bleary eyes to me as I slowly released his hand.

"What is it Katniss?" he asked, sleep clouding his voice.

But I couldn't answer. It had started. Panic clawed in my chest and dark spots clouded my vision as I had to remind myself to breathe. But how? My lungs screamed for the air my confused body seemed incapable of inhaling and I threw my head backwards and forwards, trying to overcome the pure terror that was pulsating through my entire body. It was time. She was coming. There was no more waiting. But I wasn't ready for this! I needed more time to come to terms with this. I couldn't let my baby out into the world yet! It wasn't safe!

I let out a wail, and I felt something gently slapping my cheek.

"Katniss! Come on baby breathe! Katniss!" slowly my eyes focused on possibly the only thing that could get me through this moment: the clear blue eyes that had seen me through my entire life since the war.

All of a sudden my lungs remembered how to inhale and things shot back into focus.

"Peeta!" I whispered urgently, "She's coming!" my voice broke and I could feel the tears rushing down my face, "she's coming and I'm not ready! I'm not ready for this!"

Peeta sat me up and pulled me close to him, I buried my face in his chest and cried. He rubbed his hands up and down my back and whispered soothing words into my hair.

I pulled back suddenly and got up, waddling over to our chest of drawers.

"We need to go!" I said, grabbing a duffel bag and shoving clothes into it haphazardly.

"I think you have some time before we need to get to the hospital," Peeta reasoned.

He would know, he is the one who read all the pregnancy books, offering me bits of trivia here and there that I had tried my hardest to block out. Of course, some of them stuck anyway, like the fact that contractions start far apart, but get closer and closer together as the time for the delivery draws nearer and the baby comes out into the world.

"Not to the hospital! To the woods! We need to run away, where the Capitol can't get her!" I say, panting, and stuffing more clothes into the bag. I am about to head to the kitchen to see what our food situation is like when Peeta's hand grabs mine and he stops me.

"Katniss, there is no need to run away," he gently reminds me.

Tears fill my eyes and I shake my head.

"We need to keep her safe! I have to be able to keep her safe!" I cry, breaking down.

Peeta pulls me against him again, and I cling to his steadiness.

"We will, we will make sure she is the safest baby in the country, but we are going to need a house to do that honey. Babies aren't safe in the woods."

I have a sudden image of myself with a newborn baby in one hand, a bow in the other with a sheath of arrows strung across my back. Peeta is right, that is no way to raise a baby.

I release a shuddering sigh and sink down onto the edge of the bed, my head hanging in my hands. Peeta sits next to me, always in contact. I am grateful for this. I need his solid strength, his calm reasoning today.

It was my fault that I was not ready for this. I had practically ignored the fact that I was pregnant for the entire time. Around the five month mark I had actually planned to go hunting, and was out the door with my weapons when Peeta caught me.

"_What the hell do you think you are doing?"_

_I stared up at Peeta, I had never heard him speak like that.. not since.. I pushed the thought away and answered._

"_Hunting, I was craving some raccoon, we haven't had any in a whi- Oi! Peeta!"_

_He had grabbed my bow and was trying to rip the sheath of arrows from my back, but I held onto them stubbornly._

"_Are you kidding me Katniss? Please tell me you are kidding me!"_

_I stared stubbornly up into his eyes, finally recognizing the anger there._

"_Oh for the love of-" he cut himself of, closing his eyes. "Get back into the house now." He ordered curtly._

"_No." _

_His hand went to the back of his neck. A move I know he makes when he is striving for patience._

"_Katniss, get back in the house now, or so help me I will carry you like a sack of flour and lock you in your room until the baby comes!"_

"_Don't say that," I hiss, looking down at the ground. I was pretty good at forgetting I was pregnant, despite the growing bulge around my abdomen. Unless she moved, I could pretend that I had just finished a hearty meal and was bloated._

"_Don't say what? When the baby comes?"_

_I looked away and then down at the ground, scuffing one of my boots back and forward in the dirt._

"_Katniss," he said, more gently, "pretending she doesn't exist is not going to make her disappear."_

_So Peeta thought the baby would be a girl too. I absently rubbed my hand along my stomach, wondering if we were right before terror overtook me at the thought of the Capitol coming for my baby girl, at the thought of someone taking her away and making her go through something like the Hunger Games. My breathing hitched and I reached out for Peeta as I gasped for breath. His arms came readily around me, holding me close._

"_The Capitol!" I managed to get out._

"_Shhh, the Capitol wont touch her," Peeta assured me._

"_The games!"_

"_Are over, they are not coming back, not in our lifetime."_

_He cupped his hands over my cheeks and made me look at him._

"_This baby is going to be the safest baby in all of Panem. She has you for a mother."_

_He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. I relaxed into his embrace, resting my forehead on his chest. I felt him relieving me of the arrows. I smiled before pulling back and looking up at him._

"_So you think it's a girl too?"_

Another sharp pain pulled me out of my memories and into the present. I gasped and tears filled my eyes at the intensity of it. Peeta sat by, helpless to stop the pain I was feeling, but trying to comfort me any way he knew how, supporting me, touching me, kissing my temple, letting me squeeze his hand until I'm sure he thought his fingers were going to fall off.

The contraction passed and left me panting. I leaned into Peeta, seeking his comfort.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. I weakly patted his hand, letting him know it would be ok.

"Is there anything I can get you?" he asked.

"Can you call my mother?"

She had come to Twelve about a month ago and was staying in Peeta's old house to help with the delivery. Without another word, he ran out to get her.

* * *

Several hours of excruciating pain – and no small amount of panic – later, I finally heard the tiny wail of a newborn infant. I lay back against the pillows, exhausted. Peeta sat next to me, encouraging me, I could see tears of joy in his eyes and I smiled tiredly up at him, despite the terror even now threatening to overtake me.

At that moment though, my mother placed my daughter in my arms, and the world shrank down to just the two of us.

The terror calmed immediately and a fierce protectiveness rose within me such as I have never felt before. I leaned down to give my tiny daughter a kiss, promising myself that she would be safe and cared for all the days of her life.

I looked up and saw Peeta, as captivated by our daughter as I was. He reached out and gently touched her cheek. Exclaiming gently over how soft she was. I reached out with my free hand and cupped his cheek. He turned his gaze towards me and we smiled at each other.

I knew now that he was right. Everything was going to be ok. Of course there were going to be days when the nightmares crowded in, days when the darkness coloured everything, but we would get through them. Because we were a team, and with Peeta by my side, I knew that we could overcome the dark days and see the good in the world again. I knew that we could raise our daughter in safety. I leaned up and gave him a gentle kiss, which he reciprocated enthusiastically.

"Thank you," he said when we pulled apart.

I just smiled and kissed him again.

* * *

KC

Please review :)


	5. Chapter 5

I looked down at her, nestled in my arms, and my heart pounded. Since the moment I had looked into her eyes after the first games and she had admitted that it was all for the games – or mostly for the games, I had refused to let my heart run away with me. Even with all the drama of the second games, and the kiss on the beach which remained in my memory burning like a torch, I still reminded myself that her love was a strategy. A ploy used to survive.

_Not real. Not real. Not real. _Played over and over in my head all throughout every single one of our times in front of the camera – every time she kissed me, every time we embraced, and especially all throughout the second games. I had to remind myself that it was all to survive, because it was way too easy to let myself fall into daydreams where it WAS real, where she really loved me, really cared for me, really felt the fire in our kisses.

It had been different since the war. There were no cameras left, no one who cared if we were together or not. And yet here we were. Together.

She roused at that moment and stretched. She lifted her head and squinted up at me, offering me a sweet smile.

My heart constricted as my mind repeated that familiar phrase. _Not real._ I smiled back down at her, wondering how long I was going to torture my heart like this.

_As long as she needs me_ I answer myself, pulling her tighter against me.

She snuggled into me, and wrapped her arm around my middle, squeezing gently before relaxing again.

My mind wandered back down my previous train of thought. Despite there being no cameras, no need to be so friendly to me, ever since that first night where we had chased each others nightmares away, she had been treating me with more and more fondness. Leaning her head against my shoulder when we were sitting on the same lounge. A gentle touch on my arm as she passed by me. A small smile, and now this cuddling up to me in the morning business.

Then, of course, there were the bad days, mornings when she woke up screaming and would only relax when my arms were surrounding her, days when she would wander around the house in a daze, staring off into the distance and not eating. Afternoons when she would disappear, and I would find her hiding in the closet, muttering to herself, only coming to when I spoke to her and eased her back to reality.

I though about my own bad days. Days when the flashbacks overcame me and the nightmares seemed so real I had to hold onto something to keep my grip on reality.

The first time it happened the nearest item had been a dining chair, and I gripped it so hard that I thought I had surely broken it. The flashback passed, however, and I found not only the chair in one piece, but a pair of arms encircling my waist, and a warm presence at my back. As I relaxed, her hold on me loosened, and I turned to thank her. I couldn't get the words out past the lump in my throat however, and I just wrapped my arms around her and held her close for a long moment. She held me back, saying nothing, but gently stroking her fingers through the hair at the back of my head.

_Not real._ My mind screamed at me once again, but my heart was starting to fight back. Maybe it was real! There was no reason for her to pretend anymore, maybe she really did love me?

_Not real._ My mind fought the possibility, trying to protect myself from getting hurt again, trying to lessen the pain of rejection by not caring so much.

My heart though, screamed for answers. What if it WAS real? What if she DOES love me? That changes everything.

By the time she stretched and looked up at me again, I had driven myself crazy arguing with myself, so I took a deep breath and looked down at her. One way or the other, I have to know.

"You love me. Real or not real?"

A soft smile graces her lips and my heart pounds in anticipation of her answer.

_Not real, not real, of course she is going to say not-_

"Real."

She whispered it, but we were so close I heard it clearly. I stared at her for a moment, processing what she said.

"Real?" I confirmed, tears starting to pool in my eyes. I blinked rapidly, trying to dispel them, but they were persistent.

She pushed herself up on her elbow and leaned over me, reaching one arm to gently trace over my eyebrow and down the side of my face. She nodded assent and bent in to gently kiss me.

I closed my eyes in pure bliss as our lips met and I knew for the first time that this was real.

She pulled away after a moment and looked at me, uncertainty in her expression.

"Do you still love me?"

I realized then, I had not kissed her back.

A huge grin split my face, and I reached up to cup her cheek.

"Always."

* * *

KC


	6. Chapter 6

"Eat your peas sweetheart," mama tells me.

I look up at her grey eyes and notice some sadness. She sometimes gets sad spells. She told me once that bad things happened when she was younger and sometimes she still gets sad from them. When she gets really sad only daddy can make her smile. Daddy is good at making people smile.

I hope she doesn't get really sad tonight because daddy had to go to the Capitol for a checkup last week and he's not supposed to get back until tomorrow. So I smile up at mama and scoop up a big forkful of peas. I frown down at them for a moment - I don't really like peas - before shoving them in my mouth and making myself chew and swallow. Yuck.

But the smile mama gives me is worth it. It is small, but it brightens some of the sadness in her eyes, and I happily turn back to my meal as she turns back to my younger brother, Rye. He is almost two now, and can sort of feed himself, but he makes a huge mess doing it, so mamma or daddy always have to watch him. Not me. I'm getting really big, and turning six years old, so I can feed myself!

I push some more peas around my plate as I think about something my teacher said in school today. It wasn't our usual teacher, mrs Cartwright, who I think was away because she was sick. When the fill in teacher learned my name she had got really excited and asked me how my parents were doing. I didn't even get a chance to tell her that they were the greatest mama and daddy in the world before she started gushing about something called the hunger games and mockingjays and I got a bit confused. The teacher saw that I think, because she apologized and let me sit down. But when I got home, I had asked mama what a hunger game was. She went white for a moment, the sadness clouding her eyes, but then she had smiled brightly and said they were something from the past and did I want to read a book? I love books and so we went and she read to me for a while, but after that and before dinner I had heard her crying in her bedroom. I tried to be especially good for the rest of the night, I didn't want her to get really sad when daddy wasn't around to cheer her up.

Mama is watching me again, and I realize I have been pushing my peas around my plate and not actually eating them. Sigh. I gather the last of the peas together and scoop them on my fork, ready to put the gross things in my mouth when I hear the front door open, and the sound of boots stomping off snow. Mama's head lifts so fast, her eyes locking on the doorway. I watch her face as daddy comes into the kitchen. It brightens like the sunrise, and she gets up, and runs to him.

He opens his arms to welcome her, and for a long moment, they stand with their arms wrapped around each other. I smile as I see daddy gently kiss mama's forehead. He whispers something to her and she smiles up at him, the happiest smile I have seen her wear since he went away.

Mama steps back, and I know now it's my turn. I drop my fork onto my plate, my peas scattering everywhere, and run to him. He crouches down and extends his arms out and I jump into them. He holds me tight, and I feel like the happiest, luckiest girl in the world with a daddy like mine. I lean back after a moment.

"You weren't supposed to come home until tomorrow!" I say, nothing but glad that he is early.

"I know!" he smiles at me and I smile back at him, "but the doctor let me go early! Isn't that great?"

I nod happily, and he sets me back down next to the table.

"It looks like you have a few peas to finish off, and then what do you say I read you a bedtime story?"

Ecstatic, I grin and nod enthusiastically, jumping back up onto my chair, and shoving the peas into my mouth without a second thought. I watch as daddy picks my brother up and holds him close for a moment, before going back to mama and giving her another kiss. Mama just smiles, takes Rye and climbs the stairs to get him ready for bed.

A few minutes later, I am tucked into my own bed, daddy sitting next to me, reading my favorite book in his deep voice. My eyelids start to droop, but I notice mama come to the doorway and lean on the frame, watching us with a big smile on her face. The sadness is but a small shadow in her eyes, and seeing her happy makes my heart happy, and as daddy closes the book and leans in to give me a goodnight kiss, the smile on my own face stretches from ear to ear.

* * *

KC

**hey so this idea came out of reading the hunger games, yet again, when Katniss remembers her mother lighting up when her father comes home.. I wanted Katniss's daughter to witness that also. I've never tried to write from a young child's perspective before, so hopefully it isn't too awful! Please let me know what you think!**


	7. Chapter 7

A small bluebird hopped along the windowsill. I watched, a small smile on my face as I scrubbed the pot in the sink. It had been a good day. It had even been a good week. The nightmares had been very mild, and Peeta had only had one flashback – which he quickly recovered from. Things were finally looking up. They were finally going well. I watched the bluebird take flight and disappear from sight.

Two strong arms then encircled me from behind. I smiled and closed my eyes, leaning back against his warmth. His lips found the spot at the base of my neck and I sighed contentedly, enjoying the feel of my husband behind me.

He left a trail of small kisses from the base of my neck up to my ear before whispering into my ear.

"Lets have a baby."

I stiffened and pulled away.

"No."

Peeta came around until he was beside me, resting one hip on the bench, folding his arms, facing me. I stubbornly looked down at the pot I was scrubbing, putting more effort into it than was really necessary.

"Come on Katniss can we at least talk about this?" he asked.

"No."

Peeta looked away for a moment, his jaw clenched. He let out a breath and spoke.

"ok, well I don't know what your issue with this is, since you wont speak to me about it, but I think that starting a family would be a good idea." He said reasonably.

I stared over at him, wondering if I knew my husband at all. After everything we've been through he wants to bring a _child_ into this world?

He reads the look on my face accurately.

"Katniss, things are different now," he said.

"NOW," I emphasize. Who knows what could happen to make things revert back?

Peeta shook his head, "Katniss, they are NOT going to bring the games back, our child would be safe, we would make sure of it!"

My whole body was stiff with anger. I couldn't even look at Peeta. I finished scrubbing the pot and set it out to dry. I wipe my hands on my jeans and turn to look at him.

"No."

I stalk out the door and into the woods.

"Okay then," he calls out after me, clearly frustrated, "good chat!"

The next few days things are pretty rocky between us. Peeta is angry that I wont talk about having children and I am angry with him for bringing it up. He knew that I didn't want children. Ever since I was eleven years old and knew the kind of life my child would have to suffer through I had made the decision to never have kids. Peeta KNEW that! He knew that then! Why was he all of a sudden pushing me for this? It put me in a foul mood and Peeta wisely kept his distance. A few days later though, he came to me and hugged me. I was stiff in his embrace for a moment until he started talking.

"I'm sorry, I know you never wanted kids." I relax and hug him back. He squeezes me gently and continues, "its just that things are so different now. I don't think it would be as bad as you are expecting."

I bite my lip to hold back my first retort, thinking his argument through for the first time. With president Paylor in power and everything that Panem has been through recently, Peeta is very right that the games wont be coming back – ever if future generations have enough sense to learn from our mistakes. There is something else holding me back though, something I haven't completely identified and so cannot explain to Peeta. I look up at him with tears in my eyes.

"I'm sorry Peeta, I just cant!" I bury my face in his chest and heave a sigh of relief when he gathers me in his arms and holds me close to him.

It is a few more days before I figure it out. And when I do, it comes with such a burst of pain that I gasp out loud. Peeta looks up from the book he is reading with concern etched all over his face. Before I know what is happening he is next to me, one arm around me, one wiping the tears that are steadily coursing down my cheeks – I hadn't even realised I was crying, but then I heave in a gasping sob and cling to him while the grief makes its way through me.

Peeta rubs my back, whispering comforting words in my ear and I eventually calm down. I sit up and look at him, desperate to make him understand.

"I did everything to protect her!" I cry out desperately, clinging to the front of his shirt.

"I know you did honey," he replied, his hand running up and down my arm soothingly.

"I made sure she never took the tesserae, but then she got picked anyway! So I volunteered, I took her place! I shielded her from the games, made sure she was protected and I still lost her!" once again I dissolve into sobs.

"I know, honey, I know," he is still rubbing my back, soothing me and I can even feel him crying along with me. I lean back and look into his eyes.

"That's why I can't have children. I couldn't even protect my sister. I did everything right and I couldn't protect her. I couldn't handle losing a child the way I lost Prim!"

The look on Peeta's face is tortured as he draws me close to him once again, kissing the top of my head.  
"Its ok, we wont speak of it, I wont mention it again."

And he didn't.

As the years went by though, and the pain and horror of losing Prim lost its sharp edge, I watched him with the children in our neighborhood. He became the art teacher in the local primary school, and as he was always so patient and kind, he was a favourite of many of the children. I watched him with them at the end of the day when I would come by to pick him up from work. How he would watch wistfully at their retreating backs, but always carefully put his face back to neutral before turning to me with a big smile.

The turning point came when I was watching as a young boy came up to him and gave him a hug at the end of the week. I was outside, but neither of them noticed me as they had their little talk.

"Mr. Meelark, why don't you have any kids of your own?" the small boy asked. I was struck. I was the reason Peeta didn't have any kids of his own. That was my fault.

Peeta smiled down and ruffled his hair.

"Well Simon," he said crouching down, "I have my hands full with your class at the moment!" he winked at the boy, who smiled before running out of the classroom to his mother. Peeta looked up and surprise registered on his face as he saw me standing there, watching thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry Katniss," he smiled, "he was just curious."

"It's alright," I said thoughtfully, reaching up to give him a quick kiss.

From that day on I began to think less of my own pain and more about how wonderful a father he would be. He deserved to be a father, but as the weeks passed I could never gather up the courage to bring up the subject he had so graciously dropped all those years ago. A determination started building up in my heart though, until one night, a few months later, even though I thought it might destroy me, I made the decision to give Peeta the child he so wanted – and definitely deserved.

So as he reached out for the box of condoms on the nightstand, I reached out and stayed his hand. He paused, looking at me seriously, trying to gauge if I was serious or not. I nodded to him that it was all right. As he came to realize what I was trying to tell him without words joy filled his expression and the love we made that night was like nothing I had ever experienced before. As we lay in each other's arms afterwards, he looks down at me.

"Are you sure about this?"

I reach up and trace my fingers along his cheekbone. Terror played around like butterflies in my belly, but it was easily ignored when I looked at the hope in his eyes.

"You deserve to have everything you could ever want." I whisper.

He practically crushed me against him in response.

"I love you Katniss," he says

"I love you Peeta."

* * *

KC

**come follow me on twitter! you can bug me when i seem to have fallen off the face of the earth! twitter handle is kiminiminimini :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: So this came from a request from xxspiritxx who asked me to do a one shot about when Katniss and Peeta tell their children about the Hunger Games.. I realize this is probably not exactly what you were expecting, and sorry, but this is what has come out… maybe I can do a part two eventually… Hope you enjoy this one anyway.**

**Thanks everyone who has favourited, followed and reviewed! It means the world to me that you enjoy this :) And please, feel free to leave me a request! I cannot promise that it will be exactly what you expect, but I can do my best :)**

* * *

"Peeta!" Katniss called as she shouldered the front door open, Rye in one arm and a bag full of greens in the other.

"Katniss! You're home already!" Peeta rushed to help her, opening the door further and grabbing Rye.

"Who's getting to be such a big boy!" he cooed to their son as he tossed the small boy in the air before cuddling him against his chest.

Katniss's heart warmed at the sight and she smiled, knowing that as many times as the darkness and terror tried to take her, this sight and the knowledge that Peeta was a wonderful father always brought her back to rights. Peeta leaned in to give her a quick kiss, but she grabbed his shirtfront, holding him to her a moment longer before releasing him. He grinned at her and she winked flirtatiously as he grabbed the other bag that she had lain down to open the door.

"How was shopping with mummy?" he turned to Rye, who started chattering happily about the people we had seen and all the toys he had wanted to get.

Rye had turned four a few weeks ago and they had given him a birthday party, inviting most of the village to come celebrate, so Rye had ended up with a LOT of presents. Unfortunately, now he seemed to think that he should be getting presents every weekend, and there had been a few tantrums as a result.

Peeta and Katniss shared a knowing smile as she unpacked the food and put it away.

* * *

"Willow, eat your peas sweetheart,"

The eight year old raised disgusted eyes to her mothers as she made a small whining sound.

Peeta cleared his throat and gave his daughter a pointed look. Willow looked down at her plate and obediently scooped up a forkful of peas.

Katniss watched carefully as she ate all but three of her peas before asking the usual question.

"How was school today?"

Willow's face lit up and she began to chatter excitedly about her classes and her friends and a new project she had to do on the farming techniques used by District Eight. Katniss smiled as she listened to her daughters excited chatter. Willow had always loved reading and learning, and Katniss loved to listen to her children discovering all the wonderful things about the world. It was a good reminder to her after everything she had been through.

"Oh, I have a note from my history class as well," Willow said after expressing a few ideas for her project. Katniss glanced over at Peeta but he just shrugged.

"Ok, well now that you've finished you can go wash up and bring us that note?"

"Yes mama!" Willow happily skipped out of her chair.

Peeta went over to help Rye finish his dinner and Katniss started clearing the table. Willow danced back into the room and presented her mother with a slip of paper.

"Thank you sweetie, do you have any homework left?"

Willow shook her head, "I did it on the bus." She reached up to give Katniss a kiss on the cheek and Katniss held the child tight to her for a moment before Willow skipped her way back upstairs to lose herself in a book. Katniss smiled after her for a moment before returning her attention to the note she now held in her hands.

"Dear Mr and Mrs Meelark,

"We wanted to send a letter home advising that in history this term we will be studying period of time leading up to the war. The lessons will be quite in-depth and will cover everything from the type of government and law enforcement to the Hunger Games, and even the various lifestyle differences of each district.

"We understand that this is a sensitive subject for many, but believe that in order to avoid repeating history, we must study it.

"If for any reason you wish your child to be withdrawn from this class, please advise our office by Monday of next week so we can make the necessary arrangements."

* * *

Peeta looked up into the kitchen and noticed Katniss was nowhere to be seen. Willows note was lying on the floor and it looked like the plates had been haphazardly left on the bench. Curious, he went over and picked up the note, briefly perusing the contents. He sighed. Of course.

Pocketing the note, he went back out to Rye with a cloth.

"OK little man, looks like bed time has come a little early tonight," he said.

Rye frowned at this and shook his head, but Peeta raised his eyebrows and Rye obediently held out his hands for washing. Peeta picked up the child and hefted him over his shoulder before running up the stairs, bouncing the child who was shrieking with laughter.

Peeta placed the child down gently when they got to his room and knelt down before him.

"OK Rye, you have two options. You can go to bed now, or you can play _very quietly_ with your toys until I come back to tuck you in." Peeta emphasized the quietly and watched as his son's eyes lit up.

"Play!"

"Ok, play it is, but if I hear you, it is straight to bed with no bedtime story!"

Rye nodded and dashed over to his toy chest.

Peeta stood and went to his own bedroom, where he strongly suspected Katniss would be hiding in the closet.

"Katniss?" he called, gently knocking on the closet door. He heard her shuffle a little and he opened the door.

His heart wrenched as it did every time he found her like this, curled in a ball, hands over her ears and eyes squished shut, muttering to herself. She squinted one eye open and upon seeing him, reached out to him. He climbed in behind her wordlessly; holding her against him while she worked through whatever nightmarish memories the note had dredged up, gently rubbing her back, and assuring her that he was there and they were ok. Eventually she moved to get up and he followed. She moved over to the window, and stared wordlessly down at our front lawn and the street below it.

"I suppose it would be to much to ask for the world to forget they happened and never mention them again," she said glumly.

Peeta came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle and resting his chin on top of her head.

"We want our children to learn from our mistakes honey, they cant do that if they don't know what happened."

"I know, it's just," she stopped and Peeta waited patiently for her to sort out her thoughts, "They are still children!" she whispered. She turned and faced Peeta, anger in her eyes.

"They are children, and this will frighten them!"

Peeta thought of his daughter Willow. A girl who loved to read, but also to dance, a girl who still saw the world with the wonder of a child and believed the best in everybody. She had yet to experience the evil in the world.

"It does seem a bit early to be starting them." Peeta agreed, "We have the option of withdrawing her from that particular class," he offered.

Katniss thought it over but shook her head. "All her friends will be studying it, she will want to know about it."

"Then _we _can be the ones to teach her. We will find a way to let her know what happened without frightening her."

Katniss looked up at Peeta, liking his idea, but not sure she could pull it off.

"How?" she asked, desperate to know.

"I'm not sure," Peeta said, drawing her against him and kissing the top of her head, "But we'll figure something out."

* * *

KC


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello internet friends! **

**So this chapter is my response to a request from Collen DeWitt, who asked me to do a scene where Peeta tells Katniss or Haymitch about the time he was captured by the capitol or about his family - I chose Katniss and Family, and hopefully you enjoy!**

**Please feel free to leave me a request and I will endeavor to have a go at it!**

**As to timeline of this one, I'm thinking it would have been pre-proposal but post 'real or not real' moment..**

* * *

I dropped my game bag in the hall and bent down to untie my shoes.

"Peeta?" I called out.

The house remained silent. No response came to my call. That was odd. Peeta was supposed to be home all day today, baking. My heart sped up a bit at the thought that something might have happened while I was gone. Sure he was a co-victor of our hunger games, and could take care of himself, but I never could shake that protective urge that rose within me whenever I thought about him.

Leaving my boots and the game in the hall, I raced down the hall until I came upon the kitchen, where I saw him. I relaxed for a moment, thankful that nothing had happened to him until I noticed his expression.

His eyes were clenched shut, his hands gripping the back of a chair, and I could tell by the set of his jaw that he was clenching his teeth.

"Peeta!" I whispered, concern for him washing over me. He occasionally had these moments, moments when the flashbacks were overwhelming and he struggled to cling onto reality.

"Katniss, you need to leave," he ground out, hardly moving his lips while speaking.

"You know I wont do that," I tell him as I approach him. Nothing would make me leave him when he was in this condition. He stiffened as I reached out to touch his shoulder. I knew he was fighting off the capitol created instinct to kill me, but I also knew _him_, and I knew the boy with the bread was stronger than the boy that the capitol created. I knew he was always in there, fighting for me, for us. I knew that as much as I knew that I have five fingers on each hand. And so I gently laid a hand on his arm, murmuring comforting phrases, letting him know that I was there for him.

He turned violently towards me and reached for me, but stopped short of grabbing me, tortured confusion showing in his eyes.

"Please, Katniss, this is a bad one, I don't know if I can win this one." he said helplessly, clenching his hands into fists at his sides and backing up several steps before looking up at the ceiling.

Without hesitation, I followed him and wrapped my arms around him. He shuddered in response and I could feel the tension radiating out of every muscle in his body.

"Yes you can!" I respond, "you are the strongest person I know, I know you can get through this. You said you would stay with me."

The last sentence was a whisper as I rested my head on his chest and listened to his elevated heartbeat.

Moments passed in silence, neither of us moving except for the occasional twitch from Peeta. I could feel his labored breath on my head as he battled his inner demons, but finally, slowly, he began to relax. His head dropped to rest on my shoulder and his arms came around me, clinging to me. I squeezed him in tighter to me and breathe with relief. He was back. He has won – again.

"I knew you could do it!" I whispered in his ear.

He leaned back and I could see the tears in his eyes.

"You shouldn't do that," he said.

"Peeta, I wont leave you like that!" I argued.

Spent from the episode, Peeta shook his head tiredly, "Katniss, I could kill you!" he gently traces his fingers over my collarbone and neck, sending tingles down my spine.

I step closer to him and look up at him, "you wouldn't!" I reached up and traced the outline of his face. He leaned into my touch as I outlined his eyebrow, cheekbone, and jawbone. He closed his eyes for a moment before pulling away.

"You don't know what they did to me," he turned and walked up the stairs, leaving me staring after him.

"I know YOU!" I called out after him, "I know you are stronger than whatever they did to you!"

He didn't acknowledge me in anyway. I stare down at my hands. Peeta had never opened up and told me exactly what they did to him in the capitol. Oh I could guess, but the guessing drove me crazy and I really preferred not to. I didn't want to pry or open the door to old wounds, or memories that would set off one of his episodes. If he wanted to let me in he would, but I wouldn't push my way there.

The problem was that the episodes were happening more and more frequently. This was the second one in three days! Maybe it was time I did do a little pushing. Even if he didn't want to talk to me, there were other people, people qualified to help with this sort of thing. Making up my mind, I walked up the stairs after him and found him in our room, spread out on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Peeta?" I hesitated as he did not move, but then decided to blunder on anyway, "I think maybe you should start meeting with Dr. Aurelius again,"

Peeta sighed but still did not move or respond. I went over to the bed and knelt beside him.

"Peeta, its getting worse, maybe talking through things could help you like it did last time?"

Peeta shook his head and sat up, staring glumly at the wall. I noticed a trail of tears from the corners of his eyes to his temples making my heart ache.

"Peeta," I whisper.

I've never been good with words, never been able to make things better with the things I can say. How could I make this better for him? How can I help him? He turned to face me. I reached out and grabbed his hands with my own. I couldn't say anything to make it better, but I could be there for him.

"It would have been his birthday today," he eventually whispered, his voice rough with emotion. Immediately I know why his flashbacks have been more frequent.

"Oh Peeta," I reached out gathered him into my arms and he melted into me, letting his grief take him in a way that he doesn't often. We clung to each other for long moments and cried together. We cried for our families who were no more, we cried for the children sacrificed in the war, and we cried for ourselves, the lost parts of us that were forever changed.

Eventually Peeta sat up again, clearing his throat and wiping his face. He turned and wiped the tears off my own cheeks as well before leaning over to kiss me on the cheek.

"Will you tell me about him?" I asked softly, unsure if this would make things better or worse, but the question was out before I could think about it properly.

Peeta smiled a small smile and nodded, brushing some hair out of my face. He cleared his throat and began.

"My father wasn't a very large man," he said, looking out the window as he spoke, "I think he felt bad for the way he couldn't protect us when mother went on one of her violent attacks, so he would always make it up to us on special occasions…" Peeta trailed off. I squeezed his hand gently. He turned to me and continued.

"We had a tradition, every year my father would bake this fantastic cake. It wasn't overly fancy like the ones we saw in the capitol, and it wasn't even overly large, but it was fresh, and that was something we didn't get very often. He made it with three tiers, fresh cream and even strawberries." He took a breath and smiled a small smile.

"Because there were three of us, and only one cake per year, dad would make it for his birthday so we didn't get jealous of each other."

"Sounds like he was very smart," I offered gently. Peeta squeezed my hand.

"He was, he was smart and kind and generous, and eternally optimistic. Even though my mother could be a terror to us sometimes, he saw something in her worth loving and stuck with her through it all."

He sighed heavily.

"Sometimes I can't believe he's gone. That they all are." He whispered.

I stared at Peeta, understanding all he was struggling with, but unable to come up with the words to make him feel better. What could I say that wasn't cliché and pointless? At least we still have each other? Our families would want us to live our lives to the full? I didn't believe half of that stuff myself so I definitely couldn't spout it off to Peeta. It would be like sticking a Band-Aid on a punctured artery.

Deciding against saying anything at all I simply cuddled into his side, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Letting him know without words that I understood, that I cared, that I was sorry.

He wrapped his arms around me, securing me against his side, and I knew that together we could face our losses and be stronger. Together we could see some sort of hope in the future, despite the destruction in our past. Peeta had always been like the first dandelion of spring to me – a hope that things could get better. Maybe, just maybe, I could be the same for him.

* * *

KC

Please review!


	10. Chapter 10

I watch blankly as Katniss whispers into the Holo

"nightlock, nightlock, nightlock,"

I pull my knees to my chest and lower my head against my arms as she drops it into the well below, killing the mutts, but also our friends along with it.

I close my eyes and clench my teeth, but in my mind her eyes are already enlarging and turning yellow, her teeth are elongating and sharpening to razor sharp points and glistening with saliva. I know it is all in my head and I fight against it, but it is futile as the mutt that the capitol created takes over my mind.

My head snaps up as I hear my name.

"Peeta?"

I see the fear spike through her eyes when I look up at her and the mutt thrills at it. I tense every muscle in my body against the urge to reach out and snap her neck. _It would be so easy, so simple, so deserved after everything she's done, after everyone she's killed_.

NO! I fight back and manage to grind out a warning.

"Leave me! I can't hang on!"

If she had been smart she would have done this the minute they sent me on this stupid mission. But she's always been more about heart than smarts. _Then again, maybe she has only kept me close because she wanted to kill me herself_.

"Yes you can!" she insists.

I cling to myself with everything I have, but I can feel him ripping to get out, to take over, to kill her. I wont last more than a minute, maybe two; enough for her to have a head start _so I can hunt her down like a rat in a trap and_-

"I'm losing it, I'll go mad. Like them." I gasp out as I lean my head back against the wall and stare at the sky. She has to leave me or kill me. There is no other choice for her.

I watch her weigh her options with panic in her eyes before she closes them completely and leans in. I stare uncomprehending as she comes closer and closer and start with surprise when her lips meet mine.

A warmth spikes in my chest and the urge to kill her disappears for an instant and my hands reach out to hold her close to me. A moment later the mutt reappears and I growl at him to leave me alone, to let me have this moment, to let me be, but he persists, leaving me shuddering with my inner turmoil as Katniss keeps her lips locked against mine, her hands running down my arms to clasp my hands as she breaks away

"Don't let him take you from me." She whispers.

I groan and close my eyes before whispering, "No, I don't want to…"

_Yes I do, she deserves to die_!

No, I can't kill her!

_Yes you_-

"Stay with me," she whispers and immediately in my mind I am back on the train the first night she said that, looking so vulnerable and was that a hint of something I saw in her eyes or just my own heart projecting? And of course I wasn't going to leave her or kill her or hurt her or do anything but protect her. She was Katniss, the girl I have loved since primary school.

I might not be the Peeta I was at that moment, but I certainly wasn't going to be the mutt that Snow had created. I reached for the Peeta I had been and found that the memory gave me the strength to send the mutt back into the darkest corner of my mind where I have gotten tolerably good at keeping him contained these last couple of days.

"Always," I whisper and I watch as relief and joy flood her eyes and she speedily helps me up and turns to Pollux to enquire of the directions we need to take from here.

I observe her unobstructed for a moment and for the first time since my return from the capitol, a little spark stirs in my heart and I can see why I might have been so gone over this girl, but I quickly shake that thought off. There are more important things to focus on right now, like staying alive.

* * *

**KC**

**Hey friends, let me know if there is a scene you'd like me to have a go at? I'll do my best.**

**and for those of you following descendant, I am working on the next chapter! Hoping to have it up soon :)**


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